Greeting from the deadgirl to all those I know and love and have seemingly forsaken.
I hope you know who you are, some are quite special to me, many are my wonderful friends, even some worthy acquaintances that I miss, all have been slighted by my actions, or rather lack of them, and Im sorry. This all may come off as excuses (and it might take me more than one sitting to write this letter) but here is whats up in my life and where the fuck Ive been and why.
Oh my, theres so much, stressed to the edge, fights on and off with both my mom, Jay, and of all people my neighbor and friend Shawn.
FYI I am now officially trying to quit smoking, in that I have no cigs on me and havent smoked since yesterday.
Its hell, but not as bad as I thought. But, I am using the patch and now, smoking herbal cigs, 
Im doing EVERYTHING to fool myself into feeling like Im smoking. 
At first it started out mostly because I met and have been seeing a lot of Shawn. And then when Jay gets home I am spending time with him. Its spiraled into me being afraid to face NZ because its been so long and I know how behind I am. Now its a fucking anxiety issue and Ive had to come to the conclusion that I must make some public statement (which I guess I am doing now) that while as long there is ANY interest NZ will go on forever, yet, I cannot say if or When I will be back everyday like I used to. I just cant promise that.
I dont know if its the same for those I love but believe it or not, I think about you all quite a lot, at least everyday, and even talk about you all a lot to my new friend and the tons of people I have met through him.
(FYI- If certain people see this, *John, Eryn, Pix, Mongoose* are ones that come immediately to mind, you are all ESPECIALLY in my thoughts and I owe you all some letters.) except I wrote to Eryn snail mail.
John I have you in my heart I love you and Ill write as soon as possible. Im sorry. Its all me, its not anyone else in fact its ALL ME.
My bf just got home ~ alas I must go, but love and peace, and Im alive ~ barely.
I hope you know who you are, some are quite special to me, many are my wonderful friends, even some worthy acquaintances that I miss, all have been slighted by my actions, or rather lack of them, and Im sorry. This all may come off as excuses (and it might take me more than one sitting to write this letter) but here is whats up in my life and where the fuck Ive been and why.
Oh my, theres so much, stressed to the edge, fights on and off with both my mom, Jay, and of all people my neighbor and friend Shawn.
FYI I am now officially trying to quit smoking, in that I have no cigs on me and havent smoked since yesterday.
Its hell, but not as bad as I thought. But, I am using the patch and now, smoking herbal cigs, Im doing EVERYTHING to fool myself into feeling like Im smoking. At first it started out mostly because I met and have been seeing a lot of Shawn. And then when Jay gets home I am spending time with him. Its spiraled into me being afraid to face NZ because its been so long and I know how behind I am. Now its a fucking anxiety issue and Ive had to come to the conclusion that I must make some public statement (which I guess I am doing now) that while as long there is ANY interest NZ will go on forever, yet, I cannot say if or When I will be back everyday like I used to. I just cant promise that.
I dont know if its the same for those I love but believe it or not, I think about you all quite a lot, at least everyday, and even talk about you all a lot to my new friend and the tons of people I have met through him.
(FYI- If certain people see this, *John, Eryn, Pix, Mongoose* are ones that come immediately to mind, you are all ESPECIALLY in my thoughts and I owe you all some letters.) except I wrote to Eryn snail mail.
John I have you in my heart I love you and Ill write as soon as possible. Im sorry. Its all me, its not anyone else in fact its ALL ME.
My bf just got home ~ alas I must go, but love and peace, and Im alive ~ barely.
| ********** | |
 | Peace, |
| LDG | |
| _Ask me why I'm Vegan_ | |
Definitely thank you for stopping by to let us know, as he said, I was kind of worried something had happened 
My hat is off to you, you are an incredible person with incredible will believe it or not 
and that makes me proud you're trying. Love ya, and I'll be getting a letter out this week (spring break, finally some time away from school 
).
she's back 
)
